Do Not Siege Walled Cities - 218
43 HOURS OF TRAVEL LATER
And I’m almost in my bed. I’m writing this from Kuala Lumpur Airport. I had the opportunity to see a little of the city during this layover and I enjoyed it. Bought some traditional Malay clothes for my family. Thought it would be fun to wear when we eat Malaysian takeout. Did not find any comics, though I spied a few illustrated novels at a used book store.
VALIANT HAS BEEN EUTHANIZED
How could it fail when it was publishing such hits as PUNK MAMBO?
Look. She’s doing the thing with the fingers. It’s so ‘punk.’ Oh, and a mohawk? How ‘punk.’ Creators, say no to this sorta stuff. Just pretend you’re too busy.
Valiant was mostly boring for its time as a company, and then completely confused in a Poochie D way for the past couple years. Not shocking to see it slip under the waves.
TAKE YOUR TAKE TO THE COUNTY DUMP
In my search for anything interesting happening in comics, I came across a new Punisher book. It’s not out yet, so I’ll be a respectful professional and not make any assumptions. But here’s the promo image.
A blonde guy with space guns.
Which brings me to my point: Sometimes an idea has peaked. Sometimes there’s no need for a ‘take’ because ultimately the only direction you could take it is downward. Let’s start look at the character.
This was cool, but quickly went sideways:
And this was better:
[quick aside: is that a submachine gun drawn at the size of a very beefy assault rifle? I’m not a gun guy but one of you could tell me I’m sure]
And this was shit, but I remember it fondly:
And this was imperfect but started to dial something in:
This was misguided dogshit:
And then it was time to get off the carousel. We found what we were looking for:
Now I like the material with Goran Parlov the best, but this is a can’t-lose selection here. If it’s Ennis writing the Punisher (past the terribly goofy ‘Welcome Back Frank’ arc), then it’s good to great. That’s it. We hit ‘the’ take. It’s over. So other takes will not be necessary.
But still, they felt like they had to iterate perfection. So you got a tired “he’s unknowable, so we’ll elect some shitty non-character to be the lead and treat the title character like Michael Myers” take that limp across issues:
Or worse, you got self-aware “superhero comics are naturally goofy” justifications for phoning it in:
Or, “this is a shared superhero universe, after all. Punisher SHOULD be fighting supervillains again” complete tone confusion:
Or, “we’re super scared about what a half-dozen damaged people on Twitter are saying, so we better rework the whole thing” takes:
And it’s all just a waste of time and money. You already got the take. The only one that matters. Sometimes you arrive at a thing. Pretending you can improve on it is just an effort to justify your job. It’s fine to say, “someone already got it right. I’ll do my best to honor it.” And you won’t always hit it outta the park the same way. Jason Aaron fell short. It happens. But he at least got the assignment- WRITE SELF-CONTAINED CRIME STORY ARCS WITH A CAPABLE AND DRIVEN PROTAGONIST. What else is there? Just do the thing well. As a pizza parlor, you don’t need to make pizza into fillet of fish. Just make the bet pizza in town.
FUTURE PAST VALUE ASSUMER
Tony Isabella chastised San Diego Comic Con and grading company CGC for doing business with Youtuber-turned-comic-publisher Eric July.
This is the type of drama creators of Isabella’s age live for. I don’t know what it is, but they all seem to be on this train. And July monetizes this type of drama via Youtube coverage, so this is decidedly his flavor of briar patch.
I can’t make myself care.
But I did wanna talk about one thing Isabella said in his attack on July. He evoked Jack Kirby, declaring he woulda punched July.
I assumed that was in reference to the Kirby quote about punching nazis. But July is a black man. If he’s a nazi, he’s not very good at it. A little research points to the idea that Isabella was using the umbrella idea of nazi. The internet idea of nazi, where July’s position that trans children don’t exist qualifies him for the title.
Now, I still can’t make myself care. But I do wanna talk about the danger of forcing people who lived before a concept to posthumously take a position on said concept. I don’t know what Kirby’s interaction with transpeople was. But the idea of trans kids 100% post-dates his time on this Earth. If Kirby were alive today, he’d be 106 years-old. It’s possible he was a preternaturally progressive person who could see the arc of history in completion. But I doubt it. I think it’s more likely he’d harbor views consistent with his age.
Our need for saints makes us into liars.
And we don’t need to call upon men who’ve been dead for 30 years to fight our battles for us. Isabella and July can have a worthless argument where both come out looking good to their respective audiences (and villains to the other) without making wild presumptions about the deceased.
It’s just not fair.
NEW FAVORITE GENRE
Nerdy men going through their dark night of the soul. My youtube algorithm seems to be having a breakdown.
THOSE WHO WISH ME PROPERLY CAST
In my media consumption for this week: Those Who Wish Me Dead, a feckless survival thriller (I guess) directed by Taylor Sheridan. It wasn’t worth watching and I suspect Sheridan was somehow locked into it while he was dreaming of doing other things. But there’s an aspect I’d like to explore, which is the idea that some choices are unrealistic but add style points, while others just yank you outta a movie/comic/etc.
Angelina Jolie is supernaturally good looking. You don’t have to find her attractive to understand this. I’m not sure I do. But I recognize she’s a particularly striking individual. This shoulda kept her outta film. Instead, it made her a star.
In this movie she plays a hard-drinking smoke jumper with a death wish. And it’s completely unbelievable. So unbelievable that a woman with her looks would have a normal job of any type, that the movie feels like it must exist within another movie. This is how I feel about Schwarzenegger playing a normal role. Men do not get as big as he was unless that’s their job.
Something goes wrong when you watch these people. Obviously they were huge stars so someone’s buying in. But I think what’s being signed up for isn’t ‘believable narrative’ rather it’s “alright, why not.”
On the other side of that coin, you’ve got boring and perfectly believable choices like glocks. In Those Who Wish Me Dead, the bad guys carry Glock style firearms.
This is a very popular gun. Popular with criminals. Popular with cops. If you drag a magnet through any lake in the US, you’ll find one.
But they look terrible on screen. They’re ugly little rectangles without personality. Anti-aesthetic. Your character WOULD carry one in real life. But this is where you gotta think of the firearm the way producers once thought of Jolie. “Forget what’s believable and go with what’s visually compelling!”
I’M SPENT
I wanted to do my little BATMAN: LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT arc review, but I’m exhausted and I owe every artist I work with a script right now. So I’m off. I hope you have a productive week. I am gonna force myself to have one. Stay off the internet. Do for self.