Do Not Siege Walled Cities - 267
I've Gone Hollywood
DEMOLITION DERPY
There’s plenty comic book news this week, but I wanted to lead with Patrick news. Though, fear not, there’s a comic book element to it.
A band I’m in, Drug Church, has announced a new album and debuted a single. We’re proud of it blah blah. The video can be viewed here:
New album coming in October, I think. It’s our best and if you enjoy our music, you’ll enjoy this record more than the others. Go order a copy.
The comic book angle on this story is the convenience store worker, played by Biff Wiff, is reading FRONTIERSMAN. A fun easter egg for people who know my comics, but also a bit of a point: this was the director’s idea and when I was hit with “who do we contact about clearance?” I was able to answer, “me.” Marco and I own this book and there’s no hoop to jump through.
Watch the video, see if you like the song. I don’t like videos and I walked in with an attitude. But the director made it painless and Biff Wiff was a fountain of experience. I enjoyed asking him questions, the day moved quick, and the video came out good.
PROPER COMIC BOOK NEWS
Where to begin? DC announced some shit. I watched a video where Scott Snyder and Joshua Williamson talk about it. Can’t say I understand exactly what the plan is, but I did like the earnest “hey, we can’t say the company has been rudderless and enthusiasm is down, but we know the company has been rudderless and enthusiasm is down. How about a thing we hope you’re excited for?” Can’t fault them for trying. I hope it’s successful, though as a matter of pure preference I don’t care for the “this isn’t the Batman you know…” stuff. If a character is not the character, it’s a costume. Let’s just make new characters. Regardless, best of luck. The market needs a shot in the arm. The gossip among creators isn’t so much who is involved, but who isn’t. Can we expect some limp creator-owned books from corporate creators who lost the game of Big Two musical chairs? Of course.
Which brings us to the other big ‘news’: the market data from 2023, which, I guess, has sales down 7%. What does this mean? Ask 100 people and receive 101 different answers. Some claim the inclusion of manga skews the thing. Others claim the means comic shop sales are extrapolated is broken and unreliable. I don’t know. I became a writer so I wouldn’t have to think about numbers. I’ll just say that if we’re down 7% from a pandemic peak, that’s great. If we’re down 7% year over year with no signs it’s stopping, that’s bad. And if we’re including manga sold in big box stores, this data is as relevant to my life as pork belly commodities. I’ll reiterate for the people who ask every time why I don’t care about manga: I love manga. But I’m not allowed to make it. None of us are. So asking me to care how it sells is like asking me to care about film box office. Why is that interesting?
“Comic pros having a normal one” could be its own segment of this newsletter. This time the nuts are nutting over the Trump assassination. It was a race among hysterics to say the most unhireable shit they could think of. This paralleled a larger phenomenon. Right-wingers showed their asses this week by cancelling Trump-haters for wrongthink. See: Tenacious D; Home Depot Lady. I don’t think there’s much point to underlining the hypocrisy of this. Same thing with pointing out the hypocrisy of “it was fine to cancel you, but now that I’m the one in trouble, it’s important to remember civility.” I’ll just reiterate my position, which is that the sanctity of your off-worksite speech is absolute, and should be considered a labor issue to anyone with a brain. Saying shit that gets you on an FBI list shouldn’t preclude you from making comic books. Most people’s ‘politics’ are expressions of their social circles and position in life. Dumb thoughts escape dumb mouths on all stops on the political spectrum. The nature of those dumb moments often change over the course of our time here. Let it go.
THE VICTORY OF MARKETING
I’m about to say something controversial. Ready yourself for the impact.
I HATE THE FILM LONG LEGS.
This is a movie that enjoyed massive buzz, but did anyone ask how? Before critics even had a shot to watch it, the conversation was “it’s the scariest movie ever!” How would anyone know that? Maybe because a marketing team insisted it was the case. The trailer revealed nothing. Just spooky imagery with no hint at narrative or even character.
People went to the theater because they were told they must. They didn’t know another movie from this director. Didn’t know where the film took place. What it was about. There was no ‘reason’ to see the thing, other than a marketing blitz that aggressively oversold the idea of a movie.
And I just hate that shit. I get some people think it’s fun to engage fully and earnestly with pop culture. But I don’t. I want something that calls to me because it hints at some overlap with my interests… or suggests my interests could be expanded. But not because it’s a thing I need to discuss around the watercooler of the internet.
I haven’t seen it. I doubt I ever will. Marketing turns me off so thoroughly it feels dirty to me. An overexposed thing. A man falling out of his gym shorts. I don’t need to see it.
MEDIA CONSUMPTION
I’ve avoided KALI, by Daniel Freedman and Robert Sammelin, since it came out. I assumed Sammelin was a games artist of some sort and not a comic book guy. Why does that matter? Try reading a comic book from a non-comic book artist. If you don’t immediately see the difference, then keep reading that stuff, I guess. But for people who value the actual thing that happens in comics, it’s the equivalent of those goofy comics where a screenwriter says “it’s the same thing, right?” and creates a pile of trash.
However, this is not that.
It’s big. Both the dimensions of the page and the look of the panels. ‘Cinematic’ is appropriate here. And it perfectly appeals to my sensibilities as it’s a simple, almost dumb, story told well and with NONSTOP kick.
I love a fast-moving, almost action-to-action style of comic booking. I was grateful for the fantastic hardcover presentation. I experienced the type of joy I get from reading something like HARD BOILED.
There’s nothing more pathetic in comic book discourse than when a writer accuses another of ripping them off. What we do is in presentation, not concept. Hard to properly rip something off when your creative expression is the only thing you truly own.
So I did not believe for a second that the new NAMOR from Aaron and Davidson was borrowing from Marco and I’s ANTIOCH, despite some superficial similarities. Nor would I have cared if it did. But, I was interested to see any overlap.
King of the oceans reduced to convict. That’s really it. Everything you’d expect as a genre necessity, such as abusive prison staff and dangerous cohabitants, appear in both titles. But how could they not?
I love comic books and I love the difference in comic book creators. What Marco and I devoted 4 issues to, Aaron and Davidson do in 22 pages. Namor is outta prison by the end of the issue (spoiler, I guess) and off to the oceans. Where I lose interest. But, cool to see the difference and similarities in the two teams approach to like-content.
WHO RAPED MY HORSE is Johnny Ryan doing Encyclopedia Brown, but the case is about a sexually assaulted horse. It feels like a need to turn cliches into farce is the only thing guiding the ship here, and I’m always fine with that.
Do Or Die is another late-night Cinemax film from Andy Sidaris wherein two former Playmates do… whatever. I think they were government agents targeted by Pat Morita in a game of death where they’ve gotta best ninjas and shit like that. I’ll be honest, I was too distracted by Mr Miyagi receiving multiple erotic massages during the thing to tell you what it’s about. This guy does not stop with the massages. The film also features Pandora Peaks.
Saw Maxxxine. Really sucked. If it wants to be held to a higher standard than, say, Do Or Die, it would’ve done a lotta things differently. Loved the setting and enjoyed the lead. Some said she’s wooden, but I’ve known women like this (minus the murdering and whatnot) and I thought the performance rang true. And, really, who cares if it an exploitation movie feels relatable? All it needed to do was be fun. But that third act was pure ass. To the degree that if someone told me they liked this movie, I’d assume they were saying it for shock value. Objectively poor script.
Also, stop putting pop musicians in films. Save the role for actors. Shit sucks. There’s no thrill in hactresses like Halsey or Sky Ferreria on screen. Why would I care to see someone less capable learn how to act in real time? Because they have some other thing they do capably? What kind of rationale is that?
I GOTTA WAKE UP AT 6AM
Flight to New York tomorrow. Playing some shows. Come through if you’re in New Jersey or Long Island. Should be a blast. Until next week. Do for self.