Do Not Siege Walled Cities - 288

Vacation All I Ever Wanted Vacation Had To Get Away

Dec 23, 2024

YOUR VACATION CONTINUES/BEGINS

Merry Christmas. If you celebrate. If you don’t, enjoy your day off. And if you don’t have a day off, enjoy the overtime pay.

Let’s talk comic books.

MANY MONTHS OUT

Maybe a year, really. But exciting regardless. Pierre on art, Lauren on colors, and myself on what will eventually be words.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT

Had a conversation with a really talented artist and the topic of variant covers came up. It touched on an earlier talk with a publisher, wherein the figure $300 was repeated. The raw value of a variant cover, in the publisher’s mind is $300. Which is well-below the asking price of most ‘name’ creators in 2024.

The artist was surprised to hear the figure, but saw the rationale. Basically, for speculators the value of the cover is the scarcity, not the name.

This gets muddy when someone is a superstar. A 1/1000 J Scott Campbell cover may send the speculators into a Duck Tales style ‘gold fever.’ And a theme, like Skottie Young’s baby covers, can inspire a race to “collect’m all.” Once a guy has a name IN variant covers [see: Artgerm], they can have a sub-market all to themselves.

But, for the most part, the quality of the cover and the name are not the driving force. Kickstarter may’ve artificially inflated cover art rates. And there will always be dudes like me willing to spend on a cover artist they’ve been inspired by. That said, in balance sheet hard truths- it’s possible the publisher is correct. Paying $250 apiece for four covers likely has more value to the project than a single $1000 cover.

And that’s an element of creator-owned comic books that doesn’t get discussed enough. Does X prompt sales or does it merely thrill you creatively? ‘Merely’ obviously doing a lotta work in that sentence. In a perfect world, you’re able to align these two factors. But this is not a perfect world. And if you are packaging a comic book YOU FIND CREATIVELY FULFILLING to ALSO SELL TO HUMAN BEINGS WHO ARE NOT YOU, sometimes the balance tips into the ‘less noble’ of these two. Hard choices for those of us still creatively engaged. Likely less difficult for the grizzled vets with two houses to pay for.

While it is explicitly not my nature, I’m gonna make an effort to quantify everything on my next couple books. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll make future decisions based on the data. It’s just important I know. I think that’s called being a business owner. I’m not sure.

MEDIA CONSUMPTION

Let’s start with THE SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN, a title every retailer tells me is “surprisingly great.” That language is wild because I’m not questioning it’s use, but man is that some backhanded complimenting.

Was there no faith in writer Jim Zub? Maybe. I mean, everyone knows he’s capable, but his Marvel work was typically journeyman by design. There’s certain dudes Marvel props up, dudes they try to put over, and other dudes they bury. All the same skill level. Zub was never buried, but he wasn’t put in a position to win either.

So maybe Zub’s Conan work at Marvel didn’t instill confidence. The tone on the whole Conan revamp at Marvel was next-level confused. Editor bursts through conference room doors. “I’ve got an idea! Conan is… on… the Avengers!” Everyone goes wild. Poor Zub and the others have to make that garbage work somehow.

To that point, maybe it’s not Zub at all. Instead, a broad understanding that Conan has been stepped on of late and there was little guarantee a new CONAN book would reverse the trend. Once a character is scuffed, it can take some real work to get readers back on board.

Ultimately I tend to think the real source of the doubts around this run come from a general distrust. Nobody just assumes anything will be good. If I had to point to ‘the’ problem in comics 2024, it wouldn’t be anything structural (though I understand the arguments) and it wouldn’t be any of the trends (though the largely are quite bad). It’s the EARNED lack of enthusiasm. Everyone assumes everything will be a disappointment. And everything so often is, so it becomes impossible to market your way outta that.

So this book just had to be good and earn trust. And it was. And it did. And now, by all accounts, it sells. And readers are excited.

And I get it. This was some “building to a crossover” issue that took something away from it for me, and I STILL loved it. Great art. Capable writing. Fun. Good format that lends itself to disposability (in the best possible way). Feels like I’m reading a COMIC BOOK. Made me happy. Recommend.

Moving on, we’ve got the best unintentional satire of 2024. This title looks and reads like a Ben Marra send-up of a rightwing vigilante. But Baron is for real. It took a full 20 pages hit partisan talking points about democrats loosing borders to secure future voters. But once the seal is broken, it goes full-on.

The Private American is stopping drugs at our southern border. It should be noted that, while ridiculous, this isn’t ‘ugly’ in the way you might assume. He’s not punting single mothers back over the border wall. He’s killing rapists coyotes and crooked federales. So, you can hate this, surely, but I don’t know if we need to clutch pearls.

Yes, the whole thing read like a Fox News segment from 2016, but I will be fair and mention that it’s not like race is a motivation here. It’s more on some ‘sanctity of our borders’ shit rather than ‘brown people suck.’ Maybe that reads as a distinction without a difference to many of you. Fair enough, I’m not prepared to defend this silly book.

I think the real offense here is it doesn’t feel like Baron did a second dialog pass. The artist, Richard Bonk, is not ready for prime time- but that’s ok. One of the only things this book has going for it is the amateur, fringe, energy around it. But that doesn’t excuse the friction between the art and dialog. Baron is a pro, he knows if art comes in that doesn’t quite make the dialog sing, you’ve gotta redo one or the other.

I’d like anyone who reads this and finds it tacky and drowning in misplaced didacticism to consider you feel that way because you disagree with its politics. Don’t get me wrong, it IS tacky. And misguided in its efforts. BUT, so is the political dog vomit on your side of the street. As a guy who is of neither the right nor the left, this is how ALL political books feel to me. This one at least has the charm of feeling like an insane person did it. Not a recommend unless you’re interested in it as outsider art. On its own merits, no.

While we’re discussing insane things, here’s a review: I truly loved Naked Killer. Hongkongese assassins and cops smoke cigarettes and throw knives. The film is raw as hell (“for your final test, I’ve locked you in this basement with a rapist pedophile. You must kill him or be his victim") and for that reason alone, very fun. Does the story make sense? Eh. They managed to make a simple idea confusing.

But every time it loses you, someone gets a high heel in the forehead. Fun. High recommendation.

Wong Jing goes back to the well with Naked Weapon. Another ‘attractive assassins trained by a cold den mother’ movie, but largely defanged. A sign of the times, I suppose.

Now, it’s still incredibly fun to watch, don’t get me wrong. The women are trained to pull their targets’ spines in such a way that vertebrae are dislodged. Goofy in a good way. The fights are a blast, even with occasionally dated-looking computer effects (broken glass was really a favorite of sfx people at this time). Recommend.

Moving on, I feel like Fair Game was written and directed for me. Which I appreciate. All my interests. A survival story in the outback with a rugged female protagonist against cruel hunters. Wow.

Simple and that’s a story needs to be. You’re hectored by people who want to harm you. And then you reach your limit and you harm them. The only story there is, really. Highest possible recommendation.

Moving on, I give you Zoe Lund in Special Effects. I believe I talked about her when I watched Ms. .45 a couple months ago. A life story for an interesting and provocative actress. This is one of her few non-Ferrara films.

I respect writer-director Larry Cohen a great deal. He’s just a guy. Went to a CUNY school. Worked in TV while he angled to get films made. Worked. Got films made. Worked. Worked. Just a guy.

Just a guy who doesn’t get the credit he deserves, really. Special Effects is imperfect. Its tone is such that being implausible sometimes helps and other times hurts the narrative. It’s messy, for sure. But, damn, if it doesn’t want to explore a thing.

It’s about filmmaking. But not in the miserable self-indulgent way you’d assume by that statement. It’s about being LOST in filmmaking. The way the fantasy of the whole thing corrupts and deranges normal people. And sends fragile people over the edge. This film is filled with the type of characters you’ll never see in a movie again, I fear. Desperate people guided by short-term self-interest at the expense of their dignity. It’s all a little arch, and borders on surreal, but the core of the thing is a tragedy. The idea of acting as a poison. Lund is surreal herself. Stiff but also somehow uninhibited and committed. Like she’s doing stage on film. A weird little movie I strongly recommend.

In games we’ve got Brazilian Drug Dealer 3. It’s a Quake-derived spray of visual and aural vomit. You rage through a psychedelic favela killing goons and pterodactyls. It’s really something. For your $3 and three hours? I say go for it. Recommended, with the caveat you’ve must have played so many boomer shooters that a schizophrenic one will make sense to you.

And speaking of boomer shooters, we’ve got Wrath. Unlike Brazilian Drug Dealer 3, which was likely a one-person operation and intentionally amateur in delivery, Wrath is as pro as this genre gets in 2024. It’s long and it’s polished.

Does that make it good? Well, no. Not necessarily. But it is good. Just not great. And I think that comes down to sauce. It has some sauce. But not enough sauce. I think its restraint may’ve cost it some vibe. Everything works perfectly. And the game is fun. But fails to be truly memorable. More sauce needed. A recommend, softly.

GOODBYE UNTIL NEXT WEEK

Help your neighbor shovel if he’s struggling. Let people cut you off in traffic without getting worked up. It’s the holidays. Do for self.

Do Not Siege Walled Cities